I am supposed to be writing a paper right now. I'm supposed to be finishing up with school. I got 1800 words of 3000 down, and I can't concentrate. Its the feeling of freedom that kills me. Or maybe it's that when I get this paper out of the way I will travel around a bit only to come back and take an exam May 28. Maybe its that I really want to read a book I bought. Maybe its that I'm going to miss leaving these Irish kids. Maybe it's that I'm so happy to be going home, where the juice is fresh, the dog loves me, things are clean, and I have my car. I don't know, but I feel restless.
Restlessness, obviously, I guess, is something that everyone deals with. It's just another frustration of life, like the frustrations of exhaustions, of longing, or of anything really. I would then venture to guess that treating these frustrations would be very similar to each other. Finish what needs to be done first. If you can't, find peace and then do it. How do you find peace? Prayer works for me, just as yoga or stretching or whatever work for others. It works for me cause I suck at it, and therefore, when I do it I really try hard to do it in a way that works for me (cause, again, prayer is different for everyone). If it doesn't make sense for you to hear me say I suck and then show how I do it right, tough. It makes sense to me. Anyways, right now I am praying. That is how prayer works in my life. The stop, drop, and pray drills don't affect me much, and I never remember to do them anyways. It's life that is a continual prayer for me. This break from writing is my prayer....in writing. I guess it's not the writing I'm breaking from, but rather the writing crap that I don't care to write about. I offer my frustration to God, and I hope he's open to taking some more. I know he gets a lot, but he asked for them.
I also think I need to sit up properly and breath better. I've drunk lots of water, so that's not a problem. I slouch. Its bad for you in many ways, not least of which is the afore mentioned breathing......Ok, I think I've prayed myself stupid.
Thank you, God, for the opportunity to get frustrated and for something to look forward to when I overcome it. Adios.
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2 comments:
Inspiring words! and something I needed to hear... Sounds like we're in the same boat--not only the current struggle with these papers, but also the longing for home and the restlessness of the open road ahead.
See you soon!
sup jorge i want to be back home too! so i feel ur pain. I too am writin a paper and i just dont wanna do it. Probaby b/c i just dont care about it anymore. Lookin foward to see you and the rest of the family.
see u soon!
-Atom
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